About Reconciliation

We are constantly moving between powerful selves and vulnerable ones. Our powerful selves protect us from experiencing an overwhelming surge of pain, grief, fear, helplessness, etc. They pull us into their energy so that we are able to function. When this is unconscious, there is an inevitable swing between these polarities.

When we are in conflict, we become attached to the ideas in the disagreement. We also feel the brunt of the powerful selves in others. We often miss the underlying vulnerability that has ignited the friction. Studying this flow of energy helps us separate from the specific details in the conflict. It sheds new light on the possibility of resolution because it focuses on energy rather than ideology.

There are several ways we can increase our Aware Ego Process with reference to the selves, which arise when we are in a conflict. We can chart the energy flow from power to vulnerability and back again to discover which selves habitually come forth. We can do the exercises below and have Voice Dialogue sessions to help develop a conscious relationship with our vulnerability while honoring and separating from our powerful selves. We can share our frustration about our inevitable reactions, humbly recognizing our powerlessness over these selves and acknowledging our appreciation for the difficulty everyone has in slowing down this swing.

As we begin to find our center between these opposites, we can take responsibility for our vulnerability so that we are not automatically engulfed by powerful selves. We are more able to recognize the other person’s powerful selves speaking and see the vulnerability that has triggered these selves into action. When we are able to connect with the other person while we are conscious of these energetic dynamics the possibility of reconciliation increases.