traveling

Well I had this dream last night, but I don't remember much. I remembered enough to think it was somehow significant because I kept thinking I needed to record it.

All I remember was a feeling of chaos- both inner and outer. I was traveling through some small town with my, now ex, Shannon. We were using public transport, via my idea. I know I was in a doing self because that's what makes me feel chaotic and that's the self I felt forced to be in, most of the time in that relationship.

I was the one in charge of planning most everything, or we didn't do anything and there was complaints that we needed to experience other things than were just in our daily life.

I felt resentful for not being allowed to just show up and not have a direct plan.

On this trip we were meandering, I had no plan and Shannon was unhappy. Really like our life in general together.

I remember the town seemed like somewhere in Central California- maybe Santa Barbara- which we have been near before and Shannon lived before. We were set to go somewhere- at least that's what I thought.

I just remember being alone and scared in the end. I remember a big red bus. Some train tracks. No other people really. The town seemed empty. Shannon was in most of the dream and then it seemed like she wasn't.